EP 117 | FINDING THE WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE

There is a chasm between awareness and action. Sometimes it feels like we all signed up for REALLY HARD LIFETIMES. Like, did I not read the Terms and Conditions before getting into this body? WTF did I sign up for and WHY is it so hard to change? Finding the willingness to change can be daunting.

Conscious change requires willingness to participate. Even when you don’t like where things are going.

Sometimes it can feel impossible to break out of the ways things ARE. Reality is reality, right? This is what’s real. The actual facts of your actual life… But how much of that is really true? And how much is a magic show of limited beliefs?

What do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about the world? What is your belief about Spirit? Energy? Magic? Your own health? What do you believe about the nature of this so-called reality?

If you have had any experiences with plant medicine, you know that everything is not what it seems. That there is a world of energy and consciousness and love beyond what is available to feel with our senses. That we have direct access to this reality behind the veil. That our bodies are quantum light machines that can heal and do miracles. We can manifest our desires in the material. We are always doing it.

What if everything you were told was a lie? You may be a sensitive, empathetic spirit seeker who found your way to psychedelics because you KNOW there is more to this life. That we are here for something deeper and more meaningful.

That you are not your job. You are not how much material accumulation you can accrue. You are not your bank account or your Rolex or your car.

You are a light being in a human body. You are a spirit warrior.

We are fed a worldview and conditioned not to ask questions. The Maya is imprinted on us and we are born into the illusion…

Follow the protocol. Conform. Go to school, find a career, get married, have some kids, get a house, work hard for decades. Retire with your pension and your 401K. If you work hard enough and do things the right way, you will get to enjoy the fruits of abundance that are only available to those who really hustle to make their dreams come true.

If it got out that you can create your own reality, tear down the program and reinstall a new one… That you can find your own deep, loving relationship with God, make money doing good and being yourself in the world…And that our purpose is connection and community in service of love – the illusion would crumble and tremble at our feet.

The reason why most transformation remains out of reach is not because there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. You are having a normal reaction to a very dysfunctional and toxic system.

You can’t change because a limited belief system is keeping you stuck, overwhelmed, and unhappy. Because you are not yet willing to let go of the ways you keep yourself safe, even though they are no longer working. This could be a job, a medical diagnosis, a relationship, a habit, or a coping mechanism. It can be anything that is holding you back from having the life you want.

Because right now, it feels less painful to stay stuck than to change. Change represents the unknown. And we are generally very poor at taking big chances, risking comfort for freedom, or being willing to give up WHATEVER IT TAKES to live in full authenticity.

Because it might be hard, and we don’t have the capacity for that.

Honestly, not that many people will go all the way. And that’s ok.

But some of you will. For some of us, it becomes life or death. It was for me. And it is so worth it. It is worth offering over everything in service to following your aligned heart. Because the only sickness in civilization is disconnection from Source. Of believing that we are not part of Nature. That we are not wild. Our illness is forgetting.

As feminist erotica writer Anaïs Nin said so eloquently, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

When you have the worldview that nothing good is possible for you, that you are broken, undeserving, not worthy, and unlovable – you are simply holding the keys to a prison of your own making. You are the prisoner and the jailer.

The only one stopping you is you.

So when you invite psychedelics into your life to make change, you may expect it to be take away the pain and not require too much of you. Like can you just keep going but not feel bad?

NOPE.

Instead, you have a breakdown. You will be forced to face yourself and make decisions, or feel stuck inside a life that is suffocating you. Everything might get waaaaaaaay harder and feel worse once you start down this path.

This is totally normal fam.

Spiritual awakening feels like upheaval and chaos with dips into euphoric bliss. It feels like optimism and hope and unity and love. And like leaving everything behind.

And it feels impossible to do. To change that much. It feels unsafe. And so you stay where you are. You keep trying out new versions of the illusions. Maybe this one will fit… If you could just do everything right and be different, then you could make it through.

Maybe you have begun to tap into some new ideas and ways of thinking. And this can be SO SCARY! Letting go of systems and structures that contain your reality is no joke.

It’s a big dicey game of building your capacity for more. More confidence in uncertainty, more ability to sit in discomfort, face your fears, unshame yourself, leave situations and people and jobs and places that don’t serve you, and generally become a dimension walking shadow integrator. When you descend and excavate inside yourself, you let yourself out of the cage and into a world where ANYTHING is possible.

If all this sounds dramatic, that’s because IT IS. Living a life that is killing you is the most fucking dramatic thing that exists. And it is literally a spiritual emergency to do something about it. Learn how on this week’s show.

Love,

Sinclair