EP 135 | HOW TO STOP BLAMING AND OWN YOUR SHIT

The Blame Game stops here…

One of my least favorite stops on The Shadow Work Express Train is blame. This is like Hogwarts Express, except instead of eating fizzing whizbees with Ron and Hermione, you’re taking a tour through your shadow self and uncovering all the stuff that’s hiding in the dark, ready to be revealed.

And finally, blaming yourself.

Blame is when you take your suffering, your trauma, your discomfort, your not-good-enoughness and project it onto someone or something else. Blame is simply assigning responsibility for a perceived injustice or wrong. It’s looking out or looking back into the past and creating a cage of limitations to explain why you are the way you are.

It requires believing that something is wrong, has always been wrong, you were done wrong, and therefore your life is wrong. It’s repressed anger directed outward, or at yourself.

So often the blame is turned inward. It festers into self-hatred, self-loathing, and even disgust.

Here’s the thing… bad stuff happens. Some of it is trauma, and some of it is TRAUMA. Humans hurt each other. Victimize and violate each other. We do and receive harm. We do it to ourselves. It’s part of our nature, and part of our healing to accept and understand this. To make peace with it.

That doesn’t mean we like it or that what happened to us was ok. It means we have a choice.

What if you can’t do it wrong? What if everything happened exactly how it needed to so you could be right here in this moment? What if it was here for your soul’s highest benefit? What if you even created this so you could alchemize and transform it?

Healing trauma or struggle isn’t about erasing it.

It’s about taking back your own agency. Your power. Your energy. You have a choice about HOW you relate to what happened to you. How you understand it.

You are not a victim. You are a creator being with infinite power. And you get to decide what the truth is for you.

Lasting, real transformation means letting go of the need to make it someone else’s fault, and claiming responsibility for yourself, your feelings, your body, and your life.

The work with medicine is radical. Revolutionary. It asks big things of you. It asks you to forgive. To find compassion and love. To stop making it all about you. To see with new eyes. To open to writing a new story. One where blame becomes an opportunity to reclaim your sovereignty.

Blame keeps you trapped in a cycle of victimhood. But when you gather up your energy and your agency, and choose to make your trauma and difficulty part of your hero’s journey, the train starts moving again.

Learn how to take that main character energy back and star in your own hero’s journey where you are transformed, alive, resourced, and HAPPY…

Love,