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EP 037 | PEOPLE PLEASING, EMPATHY,
AND BOUNDARIES
What are some common personality traits that people with anxiety, chronic pain, and chronic illness share? You guessed it… People pleasing, empathy without boundaries, perfectionism, self-sacrifice, low self-worth, and more. Turns out taking on stuff that isn’t yours and seeking validation and worth outside yourself can manifest as all kinds of illnesses and coping behaviors over time. Plus, it doesn’t feel good to always put your needs behind someone else’s. You deserve to feel safe and whole within yourself, and these are simply ways that we learn to protect ourselves, cope, and exist in the world. Working with psychedelics can help you to see these in yourself, and find your way into more self-confidence and self-love.
In today’s episode of The Psychedelic Integration Podcast, Sinclair is digging into empathy, people pleasing, boundaries, codependency and more. We’ll talk about how these protective behaviors develop and what the path to freedom looks like. It’s time to normalize our trauma response so that we can arrive in a place of compassion and healing rather than shame and disappointment. Looking into yourself and offering love to whatever you find there is all part of the path of healing with plant medicines.
In this episode, Sinclair discusses:
- People pleasing – seeking external validation, finding your worth in others, putting others before yourself
- How people pleasing manifested for me – overgiving, fawning, desperately wanting people to like me, to love me
- People pleasers don’t have any boundaries
- What this can look like in romantic relationships and dating
- If someone is treating me badly, then that must be what I deserve
- Victim blaming vs. taking responsibility for your part in your interactions
- Trauma responses and taking responsibility for healing that part of you so that you can move forward
- Childhood trauma, being modeled self-sacrifice as a love language
- When you start to unravel this within yourself, there’s no judgment, you have to find the answer and understanding that works for you
- Witnessing vs. identifying
- Honoring the trauma, honoring and loving the part of you that’s people pleasing, that’s codependent, that’s relating in ways that are learned and come from trauma
- What happens when you identify as a people pleaser, not having boundaries
- Empathy and empaths, highly sensitive people
- Empathy as a healing modality, empathy without boundaries is self-harming and destructive
- Facilitators, helpers, service people must develop boundaries to be of service at your highest capacity
- How to protect your sacred temple, setting boundaries, what’s allowed in, what’s not, what’s yours, what’s not
- Triggers and activations are actually your helpers, they are showing you where your habit energy lies
- If a trigger is happening, a boundary needs to be put in place – something needs attention
- You have to be able to speak your truth without being censored, you have to be authentic
- Some people aren’t going to like you, and that’s ok
- You can’t please everyone, you might offend someone, and authenticity is more important than anything
- Recognize that people might not like you and that’s ok, it’s ok to disappoint people
- “I will not be what you expect”
- All conflicts between humans begin with expectations
- Putting boundaries in place for yourself and respecting the boundaries of other people
- You can’t expect someone else to treat you better than you treat yourself
- Honoring and thanking your negative habit energy
- You can choose to stop identifying with your trauma
- You don’t have to be in the club to be loved
- Look into and examine your own boundaries, look into your own temple and see where you need fortifying
- Working with medicines to connect with Universal Oneness and being YOU
- Ask yourself what you need, nourishing yourself, taking care of your body, taking care of your health
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Afrika Brooke
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Does this resonate with you? If so, I’d love to invite you to learn more about Rise and Align, my groundbreaking PLANT MEDICINE TRANSFORMATION MENTORSHIP where you’ll learn exactly how to find the answers you have inside yourself so that you can uplevel your life and share your unique medicine with the world.