EP 156 STOP OVERRIDING YOUR BODY

I am not a holiday person. I’m not a full on bah humbuggin’ Scrooge. But all my years of atheism and cosmic expansion and Matrix-exiting rebellion created a dynamic in me that distrusts anything we do as a society without questioning. I decided a long time ago that I disliked the holidays because I didn’t feel able to accept the religious dogma and mass delusion that they represent.

The thing about blind rebellion is… it’s for adolescents. It doesn’t come from the wise-hearted, equanimous sage inside. Idealism is only truly valuable when it’s applied. It has to be lived. The same as integration. My inner rebel wants OUT. But the answer isn’t to burn it all down.

There is always a middle way. And chaos is actually pretty tiresome once you grow into your power.

So this year I got a tree and some candles and some fuzzy owl ornaments and I’m making it crafty and witchy. There are moons involved. Christmas trees are pagan, after all. And winter is a time to nest and make it as soft and sweet as possible. It’s a time for friends and treats and sparkly nights by the fireside. It’s a time to let yourself rest and enjoy being alive in the reality we live in.

The thing is, you can take what resonates and leave the rest.

I’m so grateful for that energy in me that asks questions and changes her mind and beliefs when new information comes to light. I’m grateful for the ability to stand with one foot in the illusion and one foot firmly out here raging against the dying of the light.

This is the shadow realm. We are walking in two dimensions. Holding the paradox. Drinking pumpkin spice lattes while the Empire crumbles.

We are standing on the edge.

The rebellion without is the rebellion within. It comes from nervous system activation. From boundaries being crossed again and again. From unprocessed anger. For me, it comes from the silent rage of the feminine inside me that is beyond done with being silenced, coerced, and violated.

And most often, in conscious embodiment, you are forced to accept that you are the one doing violence to yourself. Not on purpose. But by living in constant override of your own intuition and inner knowing. By ignoring your body’s simple requests. By trying to avoid feeling your feelings because your unconscious thinks it feels safer to struggle with symptoms and pain.

The body says, “No. I will not participate in this fabrication.”

It has refused to engage in anything that is not radically authentic and softly nourishing. The old coping mechanisms no longer work. It is unbearably loud. And there is nowhere left to run. Because as you well know, you can’t go backward. You can’t unring the bell.

The answer is to listen and surrender. To do that as many times as it takes. As long as it takes. Until you feel yourself release into safety.

And real safety isn’t destruction of all the systems and rules and scaffolding. It’s the wisdom of knowing how to thrive inside of it. This week’s show is a messy exploration of all the ways we override the body and how to stop. How to stay. How to be here now.

Love,
Sinclair