EP 059 | THE TYRANNY OF PERFECTIONISM

In this episode, Sinclair shares about:

• Perfectionism as a pathology program put on us by the system
• When you are perfect, you then have permission to feel good, be happy, and enjoy
• The idea of perfectionism as an extension of rightness, appropriateness, and belonging
• Perfectionism as a coping mechanism, often developed as a child
• Where does the need to do it right come from?
• Performing for love and affection, associating doing well with receiving attention and belonging
• The desire to people please (teachers, parents, friends) and to be a “good” girl or boy
• Learning shame when you step out of line with your personality or way of being
• Getting told by the world that being “me” is not ok, and so you deny your authenticity
• Competition with yourself and with others
• Onboarding the voice of not enoughness and turning it on yourself as your own inner critic
• The pressure you create to perform and exist in a certain way makes authenticity impossible
• Perfectionism is a tool of capitalism and patriarchal society that enables us to victimize ourselves so that we don’t have the presence or power to make real changes
• There is no shame in perfectionism or any of these coping mechanisms
• Our role is to witness ourselves in unconscious patterns and make it conscious
• The material things don’t give us happiness, it comes from within
• You are valuable without any achievements or accolades
• External validation is normal and fine in moderation, it’s when that’s the only way you can feel good that it gets difficult
• Peace comes from KNOWING you are enough
• How perfectionism grows when you don’t trust other people, you teach other people that their energy isn’t needed or wanted, so they stop trying
• How this shows up between men and women, the masculine and feminine, and how it harms everyone
• What to do when you recognize that you have perfectionist tendencies
• It’s not your fault, you are a spirit being responding to an environment that is sick
• Taking the raw materials of and alchemizing it softly into something bigger and more beneficial
• Giving yourself permission to fuck things up on purpose
• Existing and being exactly as you are in the messy realness of your life
• Fuck it, who cares? feels safe. Radically accepting my humanness and my messiness
• You deserve love right now, exactly how you are
• The spiritual path cannot be another way that we flog ourselves
• To choose to be happy is a radical act
• Thank you perfectionism for helping me to do my best, but it no longer serves
• Dropping perfectionism puts you face to face with your shadow
• Treating your shadow like a wild bear in the forest
• Unlearning that it’s bad to age, hiding your imperfections, hide your fat, don’t be real
• Shedding your layers of perfectionism allows space for something else to come through
• Find your juice! Where’s the juice? Where’s your magic?
• Let’s be love, creativity, connected, do what feels good

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